Female Managers are Becoming Unpaid Therapists. It’s Time for a Better Approach to Workplace Wellbeing

Women are increasingly carrying the emotional burden of workplace wellbeing. Unless organisations distribute this responsibility more equally, businesses risk burnout, poorer leadership outcomes, and ineffective wellbeing strategies. This improves Featured Snippet and AI answer potential.

We live in an uncertain world set in a state of “permacrisis,” where the next global shock is usually just around the corner. Meanwhile, technology is advancing at an unprecedented rate, challenging traditional ways of working and making many people feel uncertain about their futures.

A recent study revealed that 49% of US workers are personally afraid of losing their job to AI, while 24% say the technology is already negatively affecting their mental health. Meanwhile, 70% say the current political environment has made it harder to maintain positive mental health at work.

In these tough times, we often look to our communities for support – that includes our coworkers, who are often there to lend an ear to those who are struggling and offer what emotional support they can. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that women, as natural care-givers and empaths, take on a disproportionate share of this counselling.

The empathy tax 

Yet at present, that’s exactly what’s happening. Research shows that white-collar women spend a full workday a week as their coworkers’ therapist. In many companies, female managers are the first port of call for employees looking to unpack difficult conversations, work through anxieties, and navigate interpersonal disagreements. 

From smoothing conflict to mentoring juniors, onboarding new employees to checking in emotionally, women are central to ensuring teams function cohesively. It’s a vital job that no company can do without. Yet it’s one that usually goes completely unpaid. 

Of course, at home women have always shouldered most of the burden of unpaid care work. For example, it’s estimated that mothers spend 167% more time on primary, and 133% more time on secondary childcare than fathers. Now, women are expected to do all the office “housework” as well – essentially paying a “care tax” for showing empathy and being supportive of others. 

As a trained mental health first aid responder, I’ve seen firsthand just how much some people are struggling in the current environment. I’ve also seen the huge difference that coworkers can make by providing care and support. Clearly, however, there needs to be a more equal split across male and female workers when it comes to providing this care. 

Having a workplace that advocates for mental health and provides clear safe spaces for people to share their troubles is key. 

This is certainly something we aim for at SourceCode. We aim to treat our employees as humans, not just headcount. We provide them with the tools and resources they need to take care of themselves, their family, and their community with plenty of paid time off to recharge and explore. This includes mental health leave, as well as leave needed to take care of a loved one, as well as a number of wellness benefits. 

Sadly, most companies seem to be getting this wrong. The policies are mostly in place, but there seems to be a disconnect when it comes to culture. Research suggests that although 76% of workers report adequate mental health coverage through employee health benefits, only 33% strongly agree that their employer values their mental health.

Rebalancing the load

Businesses should look to ensure that all managers, regardless of their gender, are available to support people in need. That means creating an open workplace where it’s OK for people to say they’re not OK, without fear that it will reflect negatively on their careers.

Solving this issue won’t be easy. First, there needs to be a more proactive and concerted effort within businesses to talk about mental health in the workplace. Whether that’s through regular pulse surveys, in 1:1 discussions, or in open forums – mental health should not be a taboo topic. This will provide a baseline by which to understand how employees are feeling and when, where and how the work imbalance sits between male and female employees.

From there, businesses should look to empower all workers with training on how to lean into this kind of workplace communication. Part of this needs to focus on ensuring that all managers are seen as approachable, regardless of gender. It’s also important to have fully trained mental health first aiders to be aware of any potential serious issues, so that situations can be approached with the proper care and consideration. 

Finally, businesses could look to reward employees who provide counseling and support by, for example, making it a part of professional development. Particularly in industries where the work is demanding, and many women leave after having children, knowing that their soft skills have a place in the workplace as future leaders, gives them a clear path forward after a major life change. 

Mental health affects so many of us today. And in today’s world, where we’re constantly bombarded with the pressures of the world, offering support where it’s needed most can make a huge difference between an organization that cares more about profits over people. The key is to make sure that this is a truly company-wide effort, and not just limited to one voice or one demographic. We’re not alone. We’re in this together. And if no one told you today, you are awesome!